Doggone it, who's in charge here?

Having once been on a course entitled How to be as happy as your dog (and I didn’t even have a canine companion at that time) I feel I am more then qualified to talk about training in all its forms - both good and bad.

The dog course was unsurprisingly awful but the memory lives on in the sheer entertainment value of recounting how I ended up woofing at my fellow course companions and laughing hysterically. Clearly How to be as happy as your dog lived up to its title and promise.

Now the real reason I mention training is that a client and friend of mine has a tiny little dilemma involving her as head of internal comms and her lovely leadership and development colleagues in HR.

Their corporate battle is being fought over whom is best equipped and experienced enough to coach some of the organisation’s line managers in the fine (and forgotten) art of conversation with their teams.

L&D have a fabulous e-learning module (an oxymoron) and Powerpoint deck (always good for truly involving communication) into which, doubtless, the hapless line managers will be sheep dipped - thus transforming them and their communication skills forever.

My pal feels it will take much more than that and is suggesting an experiential approach. She has even mooted HR and IC work together (god forbid there’s collaboration across the silos).

The jury is still out but I would be interested to know from others if this is a topic causing friction in your own business.

And while you're doing that, I'm off for a walkies.

A taste of things to come

I have just started an exciting new job full time at VMA Group and had a great first day which in more than 20 years I can honestly say hasn't really been matched.

And no, this isn't me sucking up to my new employers (an unattractive trait at the best of times). I am just slightly agog as I have worked for some big old companies who should know better about how they treat new staff (as well as their existing people) and pride themselves on checking how they are doing it at least once a year with those marvellous engagement surveys that cost the GDP of a small nation.

Many of my other new starter experiences have felt like that old Japanese game show Endurance, battling to try and get a computer pre-ordered three months' ago; tussling with security guards on the door the first morning and for the following fortnight saying over and over again mantra-like "but I DO work here"; devising my own induction when there was no obvious one coming and lack of it got me locked in the office with no escape; and, in one memorable case, pleading to be given a security pass so that I might meet the CEO without an armed guard. 

First days at work can feel like this!

It's a funny old thing being a Head of Internal Communication and perhaps actually wanting to meet and work closely with the biggest cheese from the outset. Moving freely around the organisation so you can do your job. I just felt that six weeks after starting with this huge organisation with its robust People Strategy promising great things for employees that getting a security pass to the building on the first day should have been a tad easier.

 

But back to my new role and Day One. Firstly I got introduced to everyone in the company - at least 50 people and a handshake with all of them; was handed all my equipment, including the Crackberry; given a two week planned induction timetable with lots of sessions working with various colleagues and a two day training course; welcomed by my own personal 'Buddy'; given a delicious box of chocolates and taken out to lunch with my new team.

I shall report back if it goes downhill from here. But these are very good signs. Lessons should surely be learned. I am also available, for a very low fee (!), for any HR colleagues who need to know more about how it should and shouldn't be done!

How do corporate despots survive?

The fabulous eye of cartoonist Tom Fishburne is in spot on focus with this amusing array of corporate characters. If I was a talented artist like Tom I might add the Talk To The Hand guy and Mrs Shssssh You Have Nothing Interesting To Say While I'm In The Room - both of whom I have encountered. And let us not forget Mr Jump-Up-And-Down-On-The-Spot-Ranting-In-The-Middle-Of-An-Open-Plan-Office whom I met on one, very memorable, occasion along with 150 aghast colleagues. Now, I hasten to add, I have worked with many brilliant, inspiring people but there have been a few really, really bad ones along the way. And I am not alone. One such baddie is the bane of a good friend's life. 
My pal is pretty resilient but has extreme challenges with one of those 'Unique Individuals' who everyone seems terrified of, who has single-handedly added triple digits to the sick leave stats, yet whose budget and organisational power remain solid and growing, year-on-year. (Think Edward Tufte's Stalin doing a PowerPoint presentation for more of a pen picture).

In his three million years of service with the organisation, scary, unpleasant, upward managing, nightmare Head of Function big cheese has clawed his way up and all the while successfully avoided any attempts at leadership support, training, performance management and Decent Human Being immersion courses.
Yet it's my pal who is being coached on how to handle this despot and all to improve communication! It's a complete mystery to me what these fiendish folk are good at apart from filling dead men's shoes or roles left by better people having babies. Yet how do they survive? If there's a war for talent, if CEOs are generally wanting to embrace employee engagement, and if research shows people leave their manager not their company, tell me how do they get away with it? If anyone knows, then do please put me out of my misery. 

Read more about 'horrible bosses' from body language guru Carol Goman.