Shame of the macho managers on the 18.47

A man on my London train today referred to his colleagues as mostly 'dead wood.'
His travelling companion boasted he was relishing a major restructure involving the 'low hanging fruit' in his team.
A third besuited assassin smiled as he described wielding an 'axe' to decimate his 'headcount' by 25% in the next six months.
It's not the first time I've heard employees described like this and with such obvious disdain.
Sadly it won't be the last.
Macho posturing on the 18.47pm? You betcha!
But something else too. What struck me about the very loud conversation across the aisle was the realisation that someone somewhere had given these three men responsibility to manage people in their respective organisations through difficult times.
Can't imagine this terrible trio of horrible bosses doing that with any sense of leadership.

Here are some tips for communicating a restructure the right way http://bit.ly/zaDJPI 

A taste of things to come

I have just started an exciting new job full time at VMA Group and had a great first day which in more than 20 years I can honestly say hasn't really been matched.

And no, this isn't me sucking up to my new employers (an unattractive trait at the best of times). I am just slightly agog as I have worked for some big old companies who should know better about how they treat new staff (as well as their existing people) and pride themselves on checking how they are doing it at least once a year with those marvellous engagement surveys that cost the GDP of a small nation.

Many of my other new starter experiences have felt like that old Japanese game show Endurance, battling to try and get a computer pre-ordered three months' ago; tussling with security guards on the door the first morning and for the following fortnight saying over and over again mantra-like "but I DO work here"; devising my own induction when there was no obvious one coming and lack of it got me locked in the office with no escape; and, in one memorable case, pleading to be given a security pass so that I might meet the CEO without an armed guard. 

First days at work can feel like this!

It's a funny old thing being a Head of Internal Communication and perhaps actually wanting to meet and work closely with the biggest cheese from the outset. Moving freely around the organisation so you can do your job. I just felt that six weeks after starting with this huge organisation with its robust People Strategy promising great things for employees that getting a security pass to the building on the first day should have been a tad easier.

 

But back to my new role and Day One. Firstly I got introduced to everyone in the company - at least 50 people and a handshake with all of them; was handed all my equipment, including the Crackberry; given a two week planned induction timetable with lots of sessions working with various colleagues and a two day training course; welcomed by my own personal 'Buddy'; given a delicious box of chocolates and taken out to lunch with my new team.

I shall report back if it goes downhill from here. But these are very good signs. Lessons should surely be learned. I am also available, for a very low fee (!), for any HR colleagues who need to know more about how it should and shouldn't be done!

Advice on strategy that's out of this world

Always an interesting moment when you tell a client the only way they will make head or tail of the company's complex, strategic goals is to imagine they are talking about them with a Martian.
Today isn't the first time I have suggested it but it got to the point where both of us were reaching for the paracetamol and the gin in our bid to bring clarity to the corporate strategy. Sure I have no idea whether a) Martians exist b) they can speak English or c) if they do, whether they give a toss about articulating strategic goals on the red planet. But it is a fun and surefire technique to help you cut through the gobbledegook that sometimes even comms folk find themselves bogged down in.
Today was a prime example as we vainly tried to retrieve some key messages from a raft of almost incomprehensible acronyms, jargon, and nonsense. We were in danger of repeating the same language in our comms plan, so tough was it to decipher and so immersed were we in trying to make sense of it all.
"Wait!" I said. "Step away from the plan. Let's pretend we are talking to Martians."
(Client looks at me as if totally off rocker).
Me: "If a Martian wanted to know what we were trying to do, what would we say to keep it simple?"
Six clear messages were duly produced.
Client smiles with delight and says: "You are a comms genius and deserve twice your daily rate, Sarah!"
Yeah, well maybe she didn't actually say that but am sure she meant it.

Back of a napkin comms tips

Note to self. I must stop going out at weekends and ending up sitting next to people at dinner who want me to help them communicate better with their staff but would like my gratis top tips for it between the main course and pudding! This weekend's impromptu surgery/counselling session took place during a wedding reception and actually did involve me writing on the back of a napkin - albeit one with lovely confetti shapes on it.

All common sense, of course, but it still amazes me how much common sense gets overlooked in the hurly burly of business life.

My top tips for the lovely manager sitting on my right (cousin of the bride, no less) are repeated here and are in no particular order:

• Communicate with integrity: tell the truth always and without exception. If you don’t know the answer, say you will find out and come back to people
• Make time to communicate and make the most of that time
• Remember the basics: people want to know the who, what, where, when, why and how of any communication and ‘what’s in it for me?’
• Think about what you want people to Think, Feel and Do as a result of any communication
• Use stories. The right anecdote can be worth a thousand theories or facts and people are more likely to remember them
• Build trust and credibility. Be visible and approachable, engage the people who work with you openly and fully
• Check for  understanding. Ask questions and provide context and further information if needed.

How do corporate despots survive?

The fabulous eye of cartoonist Tom Fishburne is in spot on focus with this amusing array of corporate characters. If I was a talented artist like Tom I might add the Talk To The Hand guy and Mrs Shssssh You Have Nothing Interesting To Say While I'm In The Room - both of whom I have encountered. And let us not forget Mr Jump-Up-And-Down-On-The-Spot-Ranting-In-The-Middle-Of-An-Open-Plan-Office whom I met on one, very memorable, occasion along with 150 aghast colleagues. Now, I hasten to add, I have worked with many brilliant, inspiring people but there have been a few really, really bad ones along the way. And I am not alone. One such baddie is the bane of a good friend's life. 
My pal is pretty resilient but has extreme challenges with one of those 'Unique Individuals' who everyone seems terrified of, who has single-handedly added triple digits to the sick leave stats, yet whose budget and organisational power remain solid and growing, year-on-year. (Think Edward Tufte's Stalin doing a PowerPoint presentation for more of a pen picture).

In his three million years of service with the organisation, scary, unpleasant, upward managing, nightmare Head of Function big cheese has clawed his way up and all the while successfully avoided any attempts at leadership support, training, performance management and Decent Human Being immersion courses.
Yet it's my pal who is being coached on how to handle this despot and all to improve communication! It's a complete mystery to me what these fiendish folk are good at apart from filling dead men's shoes or roles left by better people having babies. Yet how do they survive? If there's a war for talent, if CEOs are generally wanting to embrace employee engagement, and if research shows people leave their manager not their company, tell me how do they get away with it? If anyone knows, then do please put me out of my misery. 

Read more about 'horrible bosses' from body language guru Carol Goman.

Food for thought

At dinner on Saturday night I was lucky enough to be sitting at the lively end of the table. Amid a range of topics which could have given the BBC Question Time panel a run for its money, my very entertaining companions were regaling me with their stories of life in the companies where they worked, particularly their views of poor communication.

Happily it didn't take long to stop feeling like a doctor who can never socialise any more because strangers want to share their illnesses over the cheesy pineappley things on sticks.

None of what they told me was surprising (which is why there is still plenty of work out there) and I had a few 'remedies' to give them between the starter and pud. Much of our conversation surrounded our views of the barriers to effective comms, how to spot them and points to avoid.

So here they are, sans a particularly tasty bottle or two of chenin blanc and in no particular order:

Listen up: communication is about listening and acting upon what you hear. It’s not just telling people what to do

What's the story? This starts with the leaders of the organisation – many of them struggle to agree on a strategy or if they have one find it challenging to articulate it or share it with employees

Honesty is the best policy: businesses are often governed by their external agenda thus there is still tension around timeliness and transparency of information which needs to be shared with employees

Loosen up: a command and control organisation often struggles with good communication – the great irony is that the military learned long ago that, if you want to win, you have to engage the intelligence of everyone involved in the battle

Do what I say not what I do: everything we do communicates, particularly our behaviour

Take responsibility: effective communication is the responsibility of managers - leaders at all levels need to be able to communicate openly and honestly. It's not a third party activity run entirely by a comms team at HQ!

Hold that thought: there is no shame in saying “I don’t know”. Try: “I don’t know but I will go and find out and come back to you.”

As ever, please feel free to add your thoughts...

Henry Kissinger and keeping calm in a crisis

'There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.' Henry Kissinger knows what he's talking about and you can't imagine this famous former US Secretary of State not keeping his head when all around are losing theirs. Watch out FIFA!

The same keep-calm-and-carry-on approach is true for the numerous comms pros responding to a 'top tips for handling a crisis' post on Linked In this week.

My top tip, based on managing a crisis in several organisations, is how critical it is for IC and leaders to have a core plan and stick with it - avoiding all temptation to respond and react to everything. 

The human instinct to panic is great and never more so when your crisis is playing out in the media, or with unions, regulators, stakeholders and customers. But please resist 'tit-for-tat' comms as a response to everything everyone is saying about your organisation. It only makes your business look like it's losing control and can also prolong and fuel the crisis. 

That doesn't mean your comms plan should remain static. Indeed, as all good internal comms practitioners know, any communication approach needs to measure its effectiveness in terms of clarity and understanding and in a crisis regular pulse checks with employees are vital so you can respond accordingly.
Just don't lose you own head as tensions rise and keep the messages clear, relevant and timely.